Engagements, Television, and Brushing Teeth

Three things that are on my mind right now.

Engagements because far too many people I know are commiting themselves for life to another person and I'm no where near that stage.

Television because I'm realizing how much I like Monday nights on NBC with Heros and Studio 60. Sara and I just watched last night's episode online so I could get her caught up. Aaron Sorkin is brilliant (something I've been saying for years).

And brushing teeth because that's what I'm about to do. Do you squeeze your toothpaste from the top or the bottom? I usually go for top/middle, but then the tube looks all ugly and squigy.


Germany soon, which I'm still terrified about but more excited everyday. I have no idea how to pack for all of this, but I'm only taking my large suitcase and Jerry (my extended-day pack, for those who don't remember).

Talked to Mom and Cheryl is still more-than-a-bit sad about not seeing me for Christmas. So much so that my parents are willing to fly me to Atlanta before New Years so I can spend it here in Athens. I think that's too extreme and don't want to cost my parents that amount of money. The other option is for my parents to pay for the rental car that Cheryl and Eric would bring up for Orlando, but they only have a limited number of vacation days left.

She's sad she's not going to see me until May, but every year before this she's never seen me until then. How does my change in location alter her perception of missing me more? We don't see each other for months at a time and all of the sudden she's sad to see me go.

Mom says it's because I'm graduating soon and then "who knows when we'll see you." I'm want to agree, mainly because I have no idea where my life is taking me after August 13, 2007.

Besides, it's not like I won't miss her too. I'll miss everyone very dearly, but you do what you have to do in life. Try not to look back too often or you'll never enjoy what you have in the present and make sure you keep those you're close to as close as possible even when you're separated by hundreds of miles. You make it work because it has to work.

Highlights from Thanksgiving

Back in Athens, though not without a good bit of guilt. I should have stayed home for the night and gotten a few more hours with my parents, but I couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to get back to where I was most comfortable (my bed).

The trip wasn't the worst I've had (God, you have no idea), but it was far from the best. I know why I acted why I did and yes, it was bitchy of me, but I'm so sick and tired of the same thing happening every time. I didn't get a true "family" feeling until dinner on Saturday. I'll take the blame for a good chunk of that, but I know I wasn't the sole cause of it.

Christmas will be better. It has to be.

Ugh...I'm not going to talk about it anymore. The real holidays will be here soon and I've got a lot to do before then.

The Happiest Place On Earth (?)

Walt Disney World: home of my best memories and my absolute worst. This trip falls into neither category, but it makes me think of how much I've grown up since I was here a year ago.

I have two relatives that work at Disney and because of that I come here a lot with my family. For one it's tradition and two we're just plain obsessed with it all. The movies, the parks, the mouse-- you name it and we love it. The park is sort of our "vacation spot" if you want to call it that. We get a decent discount with family working here anyway, so why not?

But it's usually at Disney that I get the most mad at my family, something I wish didn't happen but still does. My father will never fail to make that one ignorant comment that sets me off and ruins entire trips for me. I yell at him for it and I play it (and all comments and remarks from past trips) in my mind until I no longer want to be in the presence of family or smiling cartoon characters. This trip's remark centered around the Universe of Energy ride at EPCOT, hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. After the pre-show (which we always enjoy and laugh at) Dad makes the comment "Even though she's a lesbo she still makes me laugh."

What the hell. Honestly.

In retrospect I shouldn't have gotten mad and just let it slide. He was just trying to be funny but Lord did it set me off. For one, it's not funny. At all. Second, it's insensitive and makes him seem ignorant, which he's not (most of the time).

But I still snapped at him and was in a foul mood the rest of the day. I snapped at Mom and then got in a rift with my sister who took it upon herself to give me "a talk" about respecting my elders and being appreciative of everything Mom and Dad do for me. "The talk" was basically us trying to see who could one-up the other with wit and words, but you'd have to ask the people in line for food at Japan to see who one. I like to think I one, mainly because she sounds like she's trying to be a Mom when talking to me and not my sister.

I hate to break it to her, but she's not home anymore. She has no idea how much I love Mom and Dad and how grateful I am for them. And just because Dad is my elder doesn't mean I have to respect him at all times. When he makes comments (which are too numerous to count) that offend me he loses my respect for that moment. And because I'm family I have no qualms about calling him out on issues. God, the stories I could tell you. Just thinking about them all makes me angry and completely unapologetic for this evenings events. If you could see me with my family I am completely true to myself and my ideals, something of which they are all having trouble understanding.

Yet through all of this I love my family. I would die without them and they will always come first in my life. Cheryl kept talking and talking about how one day I will say something I will regret, but fear of punishment will not keep me silent on things I find important. She says to keep my mouth shut and let it slide and that Dad can't be taught new ways.

I agree that he can't be taught how to think differently, but he'll definitely learn not to say anything in front of me. I'm not afriad of making a scene if it'll shut him up and for Cheryl to tell me to do otherwise is asking me to change. Silence equals consent in my mind and there's no one in hell I'm letting people walk through life with the idea that what they say doesn't hurt people.




God, I needed to get that off my chest. That rant has been weighing me down for the past nine hours.

Thanksgiving Comes Early

My plans this weekend went completely out the window as soon as my Mom called Saturday afternoon. "We're having Thanksgiving this Sunday," she says a voice that shouts "Please choose your family over your friends. Don't leave us hanging. You're leaving soon..."

At least, that's what it sounded like to me. And who the hell am I to say no? While I don't necessarily like the idea behind Thanksgiving I always appreciate an excuse to have big dinners with my family and eat until we can't breathe. So I jump at the chance and automatically say "Can I make the Turkey?!"

I love my family dearly and it was an anomalous situation we were given this weekend. Cheryl and Eric were in Macon for a wedding and Mom wanted to do a big meal for everyone, so why not have Thanksgiving early? We're going to Orlando for the holiday break itself, so let's have the meal in our cosy home while we can.

And damn, what a good meal it was. At the pressing of Lauren and Erin I did Alton Brown's Roasted Turkey. I highly suggest that all people who love Turkey to do this recipe. It's easy and so very very good. The turkey was cooked perfectly and was juicy (which is the top complaint I hear when it comes to Mr. Gobbles).

After Thanksgiving we went to the movies (a tradition) and saw Happy Feet and Santa Clause 3. I absolutely adored Happy Feet (to the point that I wouldn't stop talking about how I'm going to wait in line to buy it) but the rest fam wanted their time and money back. Well, not so much the money since we all cheated the system and saw the second movie for free, but the time definitely. I can't believe I'm the only one who liked it. The adorableness factor alone bumps it up to a B+.




Oh, I also took the first of many certification tests of my teaching career on Saturday morning, but I don't (nor apparently am I allowed) to talk about it. Nice, eh?

Govenments Going Crazy

Dutch Government Back Burqa Ban

Seriously, how is this even being considered? To me this is such a gross violation of civil liberties it's not even funny. A burqa is part of Islamic tradition and religion! How the hell does The Cabinet think this is legit?

Ugh, I'm so mad right now.

Ready Or Not

I just booked my flights for Europe.









All I want to do right now is throw up and cry.

A Review For You

Most listened to song (thus far): "Animals Were Gone"
Least listened to song (thus far): "Me, My Yoke, and I"

This album definitely isn't just a second version of O, something I'm both sad and happy about. He's still got the crooning and quivery voice, he still has the delicate chords and the rising and falling symphonic sounds, but dammit does he rock out on some of the songs.

It's the rocking out part I don't know how to feel about. They definitely come in the middle stretch of the album and it's taken me at least three run-throughs to even get used to them. I know I will, it's just a sound I'm only used to hearing occasionally on his B-Sides, not O. It's a great album, no doubt about that. Fans of O will not be disappointed in the slightest, just happily surprised that Damien is able to take his voice and his music to new heights. It bothers me how mainstream "Dogs" and "Coconut Skins" can sound at times, but that's something I have to deal with, not the other way around.


I missed his voice so much.

Seven More Minutes

Another Friday night in. At the moment I'm watching The Air Up There (oh, Kevin Bacon), reading Devil on the Cross (by Ngugi wa Thiong'o and one of the best satires I've ever read), and mere minutes away from listening to Damien Rice's new album "9."

I'm a latecomer to Damien fans, but I feel that my love for his music is as true as anyone else's. It was really my trip to Italy that solidified in my mind that I would be listening to this Irishman for the rest of my life. And how fortunate that his new album comes out right before my trip to Germany.

That alone makes me so happy and relieved I could cry.

I've been so scared and so worried about Germany for the past week or so. I'm constantly thinking about it and how utterly alone I'm going to be. I'll have the people at the school and my advisors there, but I won't have my friends around me. I'll make friends, sure, but for that time period where I'm wandering around not knowing where to go I will be lost. BUT I'll have Damien. I'll listen to Damien and my heart will slow down, I'll take a deep breath, and I'll remember that even though I'm one person in a world full of many I'm going to make my mark.

Damien makes my soul feel full and alive and he's gotten me through many a tough situation. He's going to be my anchor while I'm away from home and for that I am extremely grateful. I don't think my trip to Italy would have been the same without him and I know I'm going to need the calm that he instills in me while I'm in Cologne.

Off to listen. Will review later.

Making Nan

Lauren and I gave a stab at Indian cuisine with not-so-dire outcomes. The nan (bread) turned out pretty good, though not as fantastic as Bombay Cafe. Everything else was good, save for the fact the taste resembled that of pine trees. Next time will be better, I know it.

In other news I'm addicted to the BBC World News Radio, in particular the "Have Your Say" program. So many people from all over the world call in to the program to give their thoughts and opinions and I find it absolutely amazing that I can listen to people from Niger or India have the same ideas about the world that I do. God I love technology.

Voting is on Tuesday and I hope everyone is doing their part as active citizens of the U.S. I going home that day and staying the night, though Mom and Dad will be returning from North Carolina late.



My Mom just called while I was writing this. She wants me to get my picture for the yearbook, but I have no idea if that time has come and gone. In even worse news I lied to her about going to church on All Saint's Day, which I'm pretty sure doubles my sins. I tell her that I go because I know it makes her feel better, though she doesn't believe me and we all know we're fooling each other. It's not that I don't like church, it's just that I feel that I can find a connection with God in better ways then sitting in pews and listening to scripture. Like laughing with friends and making Indian food, reading the news, watching the leaves change colors and fall. God is everywhere, not just in a building for one hour a week.

Another post that ends the way I didn't expect it to. Lovely.

Holla-Ween

Krush Girls is amazing.