she says she has no time

no time for anything other than reading and studying.

i've read two books in the past two days, a record for me. tomorrow i am starting another one that i hope to finish by friday.

i have no time for a personal life, which includes (but is not limited) to the following:
laughing
smiling
watching movies
driving around
boys
eating slowly
taking walks
relaxing
sleeping

the next week and a half is going to be utter and absolute hell, and it's just a taste of what the rest of the semester will be.

overwhelming

words can not describe the pressure that is pushing down on me right now. i'm stressed to the point of breaking and i need to unwind and relax fast or i'm going to push everyone away.

some people get sad and mope when they are having trouble dealing with things. me? i get agitated and overly critical to the point where my name might as well be debbie downer. nothing seems right and everything i say is wrong.

i am going home tomorrow. it's been weeks since i've talked to my family and over a month and a half since i've seen them, and they are only two hours away. mom called me last night and i was so relieved to hear her voice i could have cried.

there's so much i need to be doing but i can't find the time to make it all fit. between papers, books, research, and connecticut camp i am finding myself wasting what precious free time i do come across.

everything seems to be due april 7th. connecitcut camp, my research paper. both of those are projects that take up an immense chunk of time. on top of that i have books to read and a paper for african history, at least two books to finish for the geog of human rights (plus course reserves), and italian homework to keep up with. i'm only taking 12 hours this semester but i'm putting in way more-- at least five hours at the library every day, and that's just research. that's not putting together the paper, or reading for other classes.

the sad part is this picture i just painted for you is nothing compared to life outside of school. hell,
nothing is even happening and i don't want to deal with it.

just...i just want breathing space and i can't seem to find it anywhere.

krush girls

my toe is broken again, thanks to a very hot guy in very large boots.



the phrase 'no pain, no gain' has never been truer.




everyone is intoxicated on some level. erin is cleaning her room, sara has ordered gumby's, and kirsten is making pancakes.

i am about to fall asleep, half from the pain and half from the drinking. goodnight.

small steps lead to big accomplishments

anja is going with me to d.c.! eldin is thinking about it, tarik is interested, and kirsten is going to look into it too.

i've emailed the editor-in-chief of the red and black and i've made a facebook group.

not things to really gloat about when you think about it, but i still feel like i've done something (however small). i just want to get the word out about the lobbying and the rally by whatever mediums possible.


next up: t-shirts? ha.

power to protect: d.c. to darfur

http://p2p.genocideintervention.net//d2dschedule

it's a rally to end genocide. 500 students in d.c. on the last weekend in april lobbying their representatives to take action against genocide, specifically the conflict in darfur. a giant hodgpodge of people learning about the violence and fighting the good fight. free housing for all college students and anyone above 18. all i have to do is get myself up there and starve myself because i will have absolutely no money for food. it's the weekend before finals.

i want to do this. so. bad.

my life is about to change. i can feel it in my bones and i'm scared as hell. so scared i'm shaking.

but i've never been more ready.

i have a confession to make

i have a weakness for musicals.

if i wanted to tell the whole truth i would even say i have an extreme liking/borderline obsession for them, but i'm not.

i grew up listening and seeing musicals. from the age of 6-16 i saw at least two musicals twice a year, and that's not counting regular plays. that's at least twenty musicals in my lifetime, and i know i'm underestimating. i've seen the famous ones and the not-so-famous ones. i've seen musicals at the fabulous fox theater in atlanta (which never fails to take my breath away) and i've seen them in dinky little no-name theaters.

a lot of my friends shudder at the idea of musicals. "people singing and dancing? that's not real theater."what is real theater then? what is more demanding of an actor than to hit a note perfectly and make his or her mark during a choreographed move? the only thing i can come up with is comedy, which is just as trying as musicals. it's all about the timing. people do not apprectiate comedy or musicals as much as drama, but then again a lot of people don't know good theater when they see it. these are the same people that think walk the line is the epitome of a musical. pfft. hardly.

the real reason i like musicals? the absolute most fantastic thing that makes me get goosebumps when watching these plays?the fact that words aren't enough.words aren't enough for the characters to express themselves, to say what they are really feeling. they need to move and more importantly they need to sing because just talking isn't doing it justice. they sing about love, hope, fear, anger-- every emotion is poured into a song that echoes throughout a room with such a force that it will be left resounding inside your head for days. you ache to hear that same sound again. you want to hear the woman's euphoria in discovering her true love over and over again. you try to wrap your mind around how a man can be so anguished that when he sings it sounds even more tortured than if he was telling you about his pain in a monologue. it doesn't matter if he's belting it out as loud as possible or if it's calm and low-- you know exactly what he's feeling, down to your very core.

and don't even get me started on the music. the ability of a composer to match the music with words and feelings is truly amazing.

i love musicals because the characters on the stage have emotion that runs so deep that words aren't enough. i crave that type of emotion. i want to feel something so strongly that talking about it isn't enough.

the musical song i'm listening to while writing this: "i'll cover you (reprise)" from rent disc 2.

touch the sky

dear chicago,

you are very cold and windy. regardless of these faults i love you immensly.

love,
karen


i have never spent so much money on food in all my life. beyond worth it. if anyone ever goes to chicago these are places you must go to:
pizzeria uno's
joe's steak and seafood
vivere
chop house

other than eating the trip involved mainly shopping (i would kill for an H+M in georgia) and sightseeing. i have so many great stories and laugh-out-loud moments in my head it's crazy. spring break 2006 was a success.

chicago has:
-made me realize my fear of revolving doors
-accepted my fake id
-crazy cab drivers. lauren was unfortunate enough to be sitting in the front for the most terrifying ride. at one point she turned around and made the sign of the cross. and poor erin...sara and i kept grabbing onto her in fear.
-an awesome transit system. we would have been lost without the cta.
-given me an excuse to take 150+ pictures (a low number, if you ask me).
-way too many starbucks.
-provided sara and erin a break from their sweets-free lent. at one point we were running to ghirardelli. the anticipation was just too much to bear. or was it the cold?
-made me laugh harder than i thought possible.


i love sara, erin, and lauren. this trip would not have been the same without you guys.

some popular quotes from the trip:
"you liiiikey?"
"can i say that on tv? word."
"my crotch is cold."
"chicaago....chicaago..."

sweet home chicago

currently watching blues brothers and finishing up my packing for chicago. after last night's events it took me a while to get back on track and get things sorted for the trip, but everything is set now. lauren just called and i've got directions to her place.

tomorrow morning we are then heading over to erin's (sara is staying the night there) and leaving for the airport. by noon i'll be in the windy city, and the lovely weather we've been having here will turn into cold and wind.

lots and lots of wind.


as erin says: get excited.

i don't even know

sunday night got very interesting. david came over to chill and low and behold the doorbell rings. thinking it was townie i took my sweet time but it was wylie.

who was currently having a heart attack.

cut to me running down the hallway telling david to call 911 and me getting water for our 44 year old neighbor and trying not to panic.

sara went on a mad neighborhood search for bayer/baby asprin, but no luck anywhere.

i'm not going to get into it, mainly because it still kinda scary to think about. i'm just going to say that we are getting baby aspring as soon as possible.



we called the hospital half an hour ago but they didn't have anything to tell us, but they have my number. here's hoping that he's doing okay.

i am so glad we were here. if we had all been out of town i don't know what would have happened.


just...wow.

broken mind and broken toe

i just want to sleep.

i don't think that's much to ask for, but my mind refuses to let up. i haven't had a nightmare in weeks and of course it picks tonight to remind me of what i'm supposed to be studying.

i'm slacking a bit on connecituct camp stuff and i shouldn't be, but i'm pressed for time at the moment. my next deadline is april 7th and it's a big one, but with spring break i won't be able to work on it (not realistically), so that means i'll have a about two weeks to really sit down and do it when i get back. sigh...maybe tonight was my brain's way of telling me to get the lead out and get crackin.

in any case i don't appreciate the reminder.

SERCS (southeastern regional collegiate sprints) was fantastic. the weather was perfect-- light wind and 80+ degrees-- nothing like the 40mpw hell we had last year. i was out on the water for a good bit of the day being a stake boat holder, which basically means i held the stern of the boat in my lane while they positioned themselves for the race. together the rest of the stake boat holders and i would get all the boats lined up together so everyone was starting at an even point.

it very relaxing (i nearly fell asleep at one point during a break) and the best job for volunteers, by far. i was on the most ghetto looking platform ever and all i had to do was was lay down for 5 hours, so of course i broke out the spf5000. redheads and sun just don't mix well.

but while the day was good i'm 99% positive i broke my big toe (left foot). i stubbed it something awful on the raised concrete porch of the club building and it's been hurting like hell ever since. hurts to walk on, throbs, etc etc. it's not huge, but it's bigger in comparison to my other one.

i really don't have time for this either-- i'm doing loads of walking in chicago and i can't have this slowing me down. there's not much to do for a broken toe though: tape it up or put a small splint on it and take some painkillers. time is what it needs but i don't have time to give it.



hopefully going back to sleep soon. hopefully my sunday will be filled with adventure, because that would be wonderful.

finals week meltdown (no check)

finals week is officially over for me, considering i finished my italian composition this morning. that and my human rights exam was the only thing that was weighing down on me. the latter was taken tuesday and i was unable to finish my third essay-- there just wasn't enough time. i don't think anyone was able to get more than a page or so toward the end and we all agree that it should have been a take home. other than that i pretty much slacked off the entire week and am now behind in a lot of my classes.

we'll how i am after spring break.

went downtown for the first time in a long time. for the past eight months i've only been going downtown for two reasons:
1. krush girls
2. concerts

and let me tell you that those are completely different than what i did last night. freshmen and sophomore year i went downtown a good bit (dress up, pregame, bar hop), but it was weird as hell going back again after such a long time. i had a lot of fun with sara and her friends, but i'm still debating on whether i liked the atmosphere or not.

i could go on forever about things i didn't/did like, but it would mainly come down to this: there are good bars and there are bad bars. after living in this town for three years i know what i like and i've found that doesn't fit the mold of a good number of places. BUT with the right company anything is possible.

people and large amounts of liquor.


anyway, krush girls are coming back march 25th and i'm pretty stoked. there i'll have music i love and people that aren't sketch, like the guy that kept touching me last night. i swear he was a townie-- there are no townies at 40 watt.

weekend plans:
tonight/tomorrow morning/afternoon: going to aiken, sc to help out with the uga crew regatta. i am extremely excited.
saturday night: no idea
sunday: no idea

dear love of my life,

please sing "i wanna grow old with you" at one point during our relationship.





or hire adam sandler to do it for you.


thanks,
karen

tuesdays

tomorrow is tuesday, march 7th, and is therefore important in several ways:

1. my dear friend lauren's 21st birthday. i love you and my life would not be the same without you. i am very happy i was able to see you tonight. buon compleanno!

2. leaving for chicaaago in a week! i'm off-the-chart-excited. tonight the four of us gathered round the kitchen table and talked about sights to see and places to eat-- very productive, if i do say so. i've got a good idea how much soldi to take, but lord is it going to hit my wallet hard. i'm paying for everything entirely on my own (plane, hotel, food, everything) and i know if i ask my parents they would only reluctantly give me money (all the while giving me grief, i'm sure).

eh, i'll do it anyway. never hurts to ask.

3. my human rights midterm at 11. spent six hours at walker's today just reading over stuff and studying notes. i am looking forward to this test a lot, which are words i never thought i would utter. the material is so extrodinary (in the good and bad sense) that it just blows my mind. the fact that i want to know it all soothes my worries that i will do bad. i'm like a sponge when it comes to this class. the test will be challenging, but if it wasn't then i'd feel cheated.

4. spending more time at walker's. i love that place, much more so than hot corner. throw down $1.75 for an earl gray, give me a book, and i can stay there for hours. since i get out of class so early everyday (well...1:10 and 12:15 is early to me, compared to past semesters) i get to bask in the newly warm weather that's encompassing this lovely town.

5. it's tuesday, which means i can sleep in on wednesday mornings. this thought process is a prime example of my lifestyle as of late: 'one day at a time' (with a dash of 'take comfort in the little things)

6. harry potter and the effing goblet of fire comes out! you better bet your ass i'll be at walmart tomorrow getting the movie and watching it the second i get home. anyone want to join?



that's all i got. i'm going to pass out now and wake up at six for more study time.

allergic reactions

had an allergic reaction to coffee today. took a big whiff of some erin had just ground up and within ten minutes i was in hell.

connecitcut camp stuff is starting to wear down on me. by april 7th (the same day as my lovely 21st birthday party, though a day early) i will need to turn in a curriculum map which basically outlines everything i want to do. less than a month later i will need to have turned in 12 daily lesson plans.

i can not afford to slack off on this.


in other connecitcut camp news: the senior program is still hiring in some positions and i told erin about one that's perfect for her. the program assistant is basically a fast paced office job which is just the thing she's looking for. i thought about not telling her of the opening solely because this will be a big thing for me and i wanted to have this experience on my own, but after thinking about it for a while i realized this isn't like italy-- this is a job and i'll be so busy with my own duties and assignments that we wouldn't be clinging on to each other. both us of are fully capable of making our own friends and having our own lives while still being in each others. we talked about it some and we both understand that. i know for a fact she wouldn't attach herself to me (erin isn't like that at all), and the same goes for me. we shall see.


i am going to repaint the kitchen in may, so help me God. i can't stand the way it looks now. we're looking at either green or blue, and i'm leaning towards the latter.

oh me-oh, oh my-oh, oh cleveland ohio!!

i'm about to divulge some serious spoilers for the west wing, so if any of you watch it (which i highly doubt), then don't read.










holy shit. holy shit! just....finally. josh and donna, donna and josh. after seven years of watching a show you develop attachments to characters. you know them inside and out and you end up feeling like you know what's best for them, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. it's the same thing i had with the x-files: mulder and scully belonged together. enough said. it's exactly the same for josh and donna, but they had a bit more obstacles in the way. but i've seen what's going to happen and i've had my major freak out moment (about a week ago. my roommates should be glad they weren't in the house at the time-- they would have gone deaf) and now i'm just sitting here waiting with a blank tape in hand.

AND to make things even better for these last episodes of the series all the old characters are returning. gasp. rob lowe (sam!), emily proctor (sam and ainsley!), timothy busfield (danny! who wants to marry cj!), mary-louise parker (amy, the bitch!), and many many more.

a couple of years ago this show was amazing, and not just because of the characters. as soon as aaron sorkin left (the beloved creator and head writer) it all went downhill, save for a few episodes here and there. john wells (producer of er) and others couldn't match sorkin's writing.

but all is not lost! the west wing is ending this season for good but all loose ends will be brought together and rapid fans (such as myself) will sigh with happiness and relief when the credits role.



i. love. tv.

i like to sing in the car

and if you tell me that you don't than you're a horrible horrible liar.




on a less condemning note it's march and it's friday. this means that spring break is soon upon us here at uga and i could not be more excited. it'll be a whirlwind adventure in the windy city! lauren is coming over to the house on monday and we're all going to eat good food and discuss the trip. we're staying at the westin on michagin ave (think of the game monopoly) and going to museums, shopping, and eating at lots of fantastic restaurants.

oh, and did i mention that we'll be there for st. patrick's day, which is also erin's 21st birthday? there are no words to describe the fun that will be had that day.

it's also friday and i am about to take a nap. yesterday didn't turn out how i expected it to, but then again nothing ever does anymore. i did get to see two fantastic movies though (the constant gardener and walk the line) so all was not lost. i just wish things had ended on my favor a little more though.



ooh! i just found that there is a lush on michagin ave! going into that store will bring back fond memories of italy and trying to find the right shampoo bar. i know for a fact that lauren and i will be spending a good chunk of money there-- i can't wait!