public transportation

sat in urine today.


that is all.

people are loud

i want to go to sleep right now but i can't because the neighbors are on their porch talking and catching up with each other. a porch which happens to be about ten feet away from what i consider the most comfortable spot in the world right now.

i am borderline sick, but i refuse to fall victim to the plague that has been sweeping across campus. i'm the last of the roommates to get it and it started saturday night as this feeling in the back of my throat. you know what i'm talking about-- that feeling you get. it's somewhat scratchy and you start to swallow a lot. well, i felt that and i went out and bought a ton of nyquil (a gift from God), some orange juice, and some halls cough drops. motrin too, just in case.

but aside from a slightly stuffy nose, a funny feeling in my throat, and a pretty sizable amount of pressure surrounding my head nothing has changed. we shall see how i'm doing later. i refuse to get sick though. i just don't have time for it.

in other news:
i love steve (my PCA for connecitcut camp). i was so worried about turning in my stuff semi-late and he totally didn't care, and on top of that he was able to ease some of my fears about some issues i am starting to develop about teaching. mainly, how the hell am i supposed to create engaging activities that these kids will enjoy while at the same time having them treat the subject and issues seriously?

i want the students to have fun, but i don't want them to have so much fun that they lose sight of the fact that we are talking about people's lives-- we are talking about death and extreme violations in human rights. anyway, steve is going to be a major part of my life in the next couple of months and i'm glad he's here to help me out.

also: college facebook hooking up with high school facebook? wha?? seriously, i am so glad that we didn't have this thing when i was in high school-- there would have just been too much drama. i mean, i love facebook and check it at least two times a day (read: five) and i think it's an amazing way to connect to people from other schools, but was creating a high school branch completely necessary?

i don't know...maybe i'm just mad that i can't seem to shake high school. i was invited to a birthday party for two of my high school mates that i got along well with, but looking at all the other people attending i become less and less interested in going. in fact, by the time i got to the end of the rsvp list i was determined not to set foot anywhere near that place. there are so many people going that i absolutely loathe or wouldn't be able to hold a decent conversation with that it would be like a scene from a bad movie. setting myself up for a night of "how are you? what's your major? i haven't seen you in sooo long!" is my idea of hell.


thank God i grew up and got some friends outside of the high school sphere. i know i wouldn't have grown as a person any if i hadn't branched out. i'm not saying that in order to do that you need to renounce all high school friendships, i'm just saying that you shouldn't fall back on those just because they are there. for me it would have been that way and i would never be the person i am today. i like what i have become by meeting new people and experiencing new things. if high school was still hanging around my neck that never would have happened.

weekend! finally.

thank god it's the weekend. seriously kids, thanks to my ever-present attitude of "i'll do it later" my legs were shaking i was so tired. as of friday night i had only had six hours of sleep over the past two days.

note to self: stop slacking off and get your work done.

i sent in my connecticut camp curriculum guide part two (essential questions and activities) to steve about five hours too late and i'm pretty sure it was shit. i'm still having trouble figuring out how i want to set the class up, but once i get that down i feel it'll all come together. do i start with a background of sociology or of human rights? which ones do i look at? should i look at just genocide or other human rights violations? the course is designed as a sociological perspective of "understanding evil" (their title, not mine), but history is going to have to come into play somewhere. i can't just throw out "the rise of nationalism in 19th century europe was one of the biggest factors in human rights violations and ethnic cleansings that are still present in society."

things like that need to be explained a little more.

but it's the weekend and i'm trying to unwind. i never noticed it until now, but my jaw gets extremely tight when i'm stressed out. granted, i have a lot coming up these next two weeks (midterms...sigh), but i'm going to give myself a lazy day sometime relatively soon.

heading back to the swim meet. i timed this morning and am doing it again all day tomorrow too. i love these things for three main reasons:
1. get to socialize/meet new people
2. get to look at cute guys in speedos
3. free food

waiting and procrastination

hi, my name's karen and i'm the biggest slacker in the house right now.

i haven't started the paper. i've done all the research and i know everything i need to, i just have yet to put it into paper form. this is always a challenge with me-- i like doing the research (a little too much. becoming a librarian has crossed my mind), i don't mind the readings at all (very very interesting), but starting the actual paper takes me forever.

8 am class tomorrow, and i still need to:
make an outline (at the very least)
do italian homework
read for human rights


why, oh why do i do this to myself?

i'm working on the template a bit. sorry it's so plain-- i'll add more to it when i have the time (i've wasted too much of it as it is).

dream time

for once i had a not-so-horrifying dream that dealt with human rights...

i was at chick-fil-a getting food and walking out the the door a woman yells to me "hey! don't forget your free water!" i turn around and sure enough there's a table set up with gallons of water waiting to be handed out. thinking to myself "okay, why not?" i go over there and she smiles and askes to see my driver's license. confused, i hand it over and she immidiately gives it back, not smiling anymore. "we're sorry, you can't have any." i ask why and she says "because you're not protestant."

i look down at my id and it has the religion i was baptized in to. furious i ask her "you mean i can't get free water because i'm catholic? you can't do that!" "yes we can. we are a private establishment. and i think it would be best for you to leave now."

it was here that i realized that this was law now-- people could treat you however they wanted based on this information. it didn't even matter if you had converted-- what was on the card mattered. if you were baptized a catholic and then became jewish it wouldn't matter-- in the eyes of everyone you were a catholic first. all forms of id had my religion on it, including my school id and my passport.



that's only one part of the dream, but holy shit. the free water may sound funny and all, yet the underlying matter is definitely not. the fact that all forms of id had our religion on it is a terrifying concept to me. if you get pulled over by a cop he/she would know if you were catholic, baptist, jewish, luther, muslim, buddist, atheist, whatever. if you have to apply for a job and they want a copy of your license to do a background check they would have that information. and passports! don't even get me started.

serioulsy, this dream could be something right out of what i'm learning about rome. italy applied a load of "raical laws" to the country in 1938 (right before WWII) in show of support for their lovely ally, germany. jews were kicked out of schools, textbooks by jewish authors couldn't be used anymore, they couldn't own a business that had more than 100 employees, it goes on and on and gets worse as time went by.

but i think my dream is coming from the part about the marriage law and the definition of a jew. intermarriage was banned and all catholics, if married to a jew, were to be treated as such. the pope went crazy over this and tried get it so catholics would be protected, but he didn't even speak up about the other laws. also, the facist state's definition of a jew was anyone who's parents or grandparents were jewish--- the religion they were born into.

luckily the majority of italians thought these laws were crazy, considering the jewish population in rome is one of the oldest in europe and everything had been fine for centuries. even mussolini didn't stand fully behind his own laws and it wasn't until a coup overthrew the fascit goverment (thus making germany come and save mussolini's ass and occupy rome) that the jewish community saw the full effects of the horror that is the Holocaust.


wow...i definitely didn't mean to turn this into a history lesson. oh well.

bbc: reporting news objectively

so i'm kind of addicted to http://news.bbc.co.uk

i like to know what's going on in the world and i feel as if this site is the only place that can really give me the news i want to hear. i can't stand watching american news networks because they...

1. repeat the same stories, 24/7
2. rarely talk about the world outside of the U.S. and
3. when they do it's solely related to U.S. interests
4. report news with an american bias (that they don't even try to hide most of the time)
5. the pieces reported are overshadowed by america's "need" for celebrity gossip
6. most of the things reported are not worthwhile, and when the opposite finally occurs they are over-reported to the point where people become de-sensitized and (God forbid) bored.

that was in no particular order, but the fact that i am able to pinpoint flaws within our news saddens me to no end (though i will admit to being caught up in #5). whatever happened to brining the world to the masses? instead we are being fed the same garbage day after day. i want to know what's going on, so tell me!

but they don't, so i go elsewhere. i thank God daily for international radio and bbc. without it i would feel lost (in the most literal sense of the word).

some news that i would like to pass on:
"Liberia sets up truth commission"-- somewhat of a big deal. the commission is going to look at all the human rights violations that occured over the 24 year civil war/unrest (a long time, mind you). the newly appointed FEMALE president, mrs. ellen johnson-sirleaf, says that it will investigate "gross human rights violations and violations of international laws... including massacres, sexual violations, murders, extra-judicial killings and economic crimes".

good luck to them. i'm not sure what falls under "economic crimes" though. corruption, use of foreign aid towards military build up...? i should look it up.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4735088.stm

"Russia abadons HIV children"-- very sad and informative article about the HIV/AIDS-phobia that is very promienent russia. about twenty babies are born every day to HIV-positive women, with two of those, on average, abandoned by their mothers. those children either end up staying in the hospitals indefinitely or go to whatever orphanages aren't scared to take them. apparently russia is also has one of the fastest growing AIDS epidemics in the world, with 100 new infections every day. definitely something i was not aware of until i read this.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4735006.stm

"UN positive after Kosovo meeting"-- this article caught my eye immidiately. a very close friend of mine whose family lives in kosovo came over to the states during the war and NATO's campagin to stop the serbian persecution of ethnic albanians. there is a long history here that i couldn't even begin to start writing about. my human rights class is going to start talking about slobodan milosevic (a grade A bastard) pretty soon.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4731142.stm


if i had to pinpoint what caused my interest in human rights tp start it would have to be agon. without him and his depictions of what was going on over there i would have been oblivious. thank you for making me wiser.

i think townie just asked me to dinner

the place: the front porch

the time: 11:30pm, sunday night

the circumstance: he got locked out of his place and needed to borrow a kitchen knife to break in, something he's "done often enough that's it's not a problem."

the conversation:
townie: hey, guess what i bought for $25?
me: no idea. what?
townie: a 100-piece china set. it's awesome, man. now all i need is a table and some sushi.
me: (makes face at the word "sushi")
townie: you don't like sushi?
me: never had it. i don't think i'd like it very much. (big mistake)
townie: what? no! i'll take you out and we'll get some. i'll even pay. if you don't like it then we'll get you something else...like teriyaki chicken.
me: uhh...i don't know when that would be possible, i'm pretty booked with school...
townie: oh, don't worry. i need to get the money first, so it'll be a while. but when i have enough i'll take you to get some.



someone please save me.

a lot can happen in a year

i didn't realize it until now, but i've had this blog for a year.

a year is a very very long time. so much has changed since then, and i like to think it's changed for the better. this time last year i was looking forward to a summer and italy, and now it's a summer in new haven. my first month of public blogging (i've had another journal since the start of college) was filled with to-do lists, daily activities, and the like. i'm much more reflective in my writing now, a change that occured while in italy.

i could go on and on about how i was a different person a year ago, but i won't. i'm relatively happy with life right now (say, 86%), and that's all that matters.

something is not right

i am incredibly lonely right now. it's around 12:30 on a friday night and i've stayed in, wishing i was out instead. not necessarily out downtown or anything, just...out. watching movies, hanging out, being around people, whatever.

sara is gone until tomorrow, kirsten is in orlando on a field trip to EPCOT, and erin is asleep. i am exhausted but i can't seem to drag my mentally drained brain to bed.

i haven't slept well in a while. the mix of nightmares (the source: course content), headaches (a recent occurance that worries me ever-so-slightly), and general stress/restlessness makes for a disrupted sleep nearly every night.

i have so much to do...
tuesday: comparative history of jews and christians in world war II rome, specifically 1939.
friday: connecticut camp essential questions/activities
rest of week: reading, researching, repeat x4

i really wanted to do something this weekend, but there was nothing and no one to do it with. it could have been something as small as going to the dollar theater (harry potter and the goblet of fire as well as walk the line are playing!), or just chilling somewhere.


i'm so tired of waiting. no more, says i. not for a month, not for a week.

okay kids, this is a very serious post about music. please please please check out these blogs below-- they will open you to a whole new world of music that you probably didn't even know existed. both authors give quick easy-to-read reviews on some of the latest records plus a couple of tracks to listen/download. that's right: download. for free. legally.

all they ask is to show your support and buy the albums if you like the sound, something i am slowly but surely starting to abide by (bought Dream Brother: Songs of Tim + Jeff Buckley last week).

http://camerondeyhle.blogspot.com
awesome sense of music. some of his top albums of 2005: bloc party silent alarm, amon tobin's chaos theory, sufjan stevens's illinois, fischerspooner's odyssey, spoon's gimme fiction, and many more.

http://youaintnopicasso.blogspot.com
i don't even know where to start with this guy. an undergrad at UK you know he's going to be surrounded by some new types of sounds. on discovery that i am especially enjoying is kite flying society (kfs), a band out of california. he's put up an anti-love mix for all those dreading days like today, but don't take that to mean he's a brooding emo kid with no love. he's interviewed andrew bird, sufjan stevens, we are the scientists, and reviews new music pretty reguarly. this kid knows his shit.


anyway, check those out (trust me, it's for your own benefit). i'm off to celebrate valentine's day with erin, anja, kirsten, and sara. though one of us has a boyfriend, we are doing the whole "single awareness" thing in style and having a good time. even though i don't have anyone to kiss and hold hands with today i can always surround myself with people who love me no matter what.

connecticut camp update

i just had the best conversation with my pre-curriculum advisor (PCA). we talked for about an hour about my class just bouncing ideas off one another, what my expectations and hopes for the class are, etc etc.

some activity ideas:
the journal: i’d like the students to keep a personal journal with them throughout the class session in which they will write their reactions and/or reflections on readings, topics, film viewings, or anything that goes on as long as it pertains to the class itself. having a journal will also be a form of support and therapy should students feel overwhelmed by what they are learning or seeing. even if students are able to deal well with this class having a journal will help them see how they have progressed over the three-week period in what they have learned.

i think (and so does steve, my pca) that this would be extremely helpful for the students. i've been keeping a journal for a long time (not just this blog) and it's mostly filled with reflections and such, especially now that i'm taking the human rights class.

the burning questions: have the students, at the beginning of the class, write down 3-5 questions about genocide or human rights. it could be anything they want to know or are curious about (examples: what is genocide? why is it still going on? is it still happening? where? why isn't anyone doing something about it? what's the biggest genocide, in terms of deaths? why are we learning about this? what's the purpose of this class?....).

after they are done i would collect the questions and i'd have the students decide on 5 that they feel are the most important or the most compelling. i'd write on the board and leave them there for the entire three weeks in the hope that it would get the students more invested in the class on a personal level. they'd look at the board and think "that's my question that we're aiming to answer." it'd get them more actively engaged and make them better researchers (because they know what questions they want answered).

with this activity it'd also give me a good idea of what the students already know about the topic, if anything at all. then i can go from there. the students "burning questions" will work in conjuction with my own essential questions (part two of the curriculum that i need to work on for feb. 24th).

movie screening/forum: steve came up with this one which i love. the students could make flyers that would encourage other students at connecticut camp to come see a movie on human rights/genocide and have a discussion afterwards-- a type of forum for those that want to know more information. like we could show hotel rwanda and have a discussion afterward that the students in the class would host.

art collage: another idea of steve's. have the students present to the class (or to the student body) a type of art work that expresses and depicts what they have felt or think about the class. this could be a great activity because it would get the students really engaged. it could be a collage or they could use their journal if they wish (or both!)-- the final piece would be up to them.

that's just the start. i'm going to be brainstorming a lot more and hopefully come up with so many activities and ideas that i won't have time to do them all.

i'm could nine right now kids. cloud nine.

andrew bird

that was amazing.


things that will keep me up till morning:
-hist 4500 paper.
-italian homework
-connecticut camp brainstorming doc

nightmares

i had another nightmare again...not as bad as the others but by no means..

i thought they had stopped. on friday i slept well soundly for the first time in a week and it continued all weekend long. i thought i had been snapped out of this.

no, i was definitely wrong.

God...i wish there was someone up i could talk to, even if it's to hear someone breathe.

i want to:
hug someone
cry
scream
beg
laugh
be warm


it's just a video. snap out of it. it's just a video. it's just a video.



it's not just a video. it's not just stories. it's not just random people. i'll snap out of it, it'll just take a while.

things to look forward to:

thursday:
-taking my italian test, if only for the sole reason that it will be done and out of the way.
-doing some reading at walker's, which i really enjoy. it's right next to starbucks and i ventured in today for the first time and ended up staying for five hours. i have found my new reading spot.
-andrew bird concert at 40 watt. there are no words to describe how excited i am. i can only thank david for getting me hooked on him last spring.

friday:
-turning in my stuff for connecticut camp, which i will be completing thursday at walker's (see above). i've recieved more info for the next turn-in date and i get butterflys in my stomach every time i glance at the ever-growing pile of mail and materials. i'm going to be in new haven. teaching. wow.
-winter olympics start. seriously kids, it's going to be a free for all at church street. i am crazy about these games.

rest of the weekend:
-getting caught up on all the work i didn't do this past weekend. and yes, i actually am looking forward to that. the feeling of being productive and not drowning in work is amazing.
-going to church (which i did last weekend for the first time in a long time for reasons i don't feel like mentioning). i'm ready to go back and i honestly need it. this decision is on my own terms and not out of sheer obligation anymore.

shoutouts:
-congrats to sara for getting her summer internship at youth villages!
-my iRiver. i love the relationship we have and i would like to apologize (again) for dropping you in italy. the tape is holding up well though, wouldn't you say?
-the writers of LOST. you are the only show that can make my jaw drop and i thank you for that.

when opportunity presents itself...

i will take it. this is a resoultion i've been wanting to keep since the clock rolled over to 2006 and tonight i took it. i took a chance and i couldn't be happier with the outcome.

well, maybe a little bit happier, but i'm pretty damn content right now.





ps. i love anja. she went above and beyond the call of friendship tonight. you will be remembered for your kind deeds and loyalty when i take over the world.

"1 2 3 ROOOOOCCCCCKKKK!"

punxsutawney phil vs. general beau lee

why does the south (specifically georgia) feel the need to have it's own groundhog? general beau lee has been giving georgians their weather forcast for the past fifteen years and before that it was his uncle general robert lee for ten. i have no idea if it has been going on longer than that (though the punxsutawney groundhogs have been going at it for for about 120 years).

anyway, general beau says it's supposed to be an early spring and i currently think he's full of shit. it's been freezing all weekend and tomorrow the weather channel is predicting snow flurries. snow flurries.

i am way too excited at the prospect of anything remotely snow related. with the plans for chicago lined up i was hoping that we'd get some some while there (lord knows it's going to be cold enough), but definitely not here-- not with beau's 97% accuracy rate. of course the year he was wrong georgia saw it's worst blizzard ever (good old 1993! i remember you well).

tomorrow i am going to buy some long johns. just the thought of them makes me warm (though not really-- our house it set at 65 because our gas bill was too high).

let's party like it's 1985

there is nothing better than 80s music. i listen to some of my favorite songs from that glorious decade at least once a day and i swear the 80s fashion and trends were made for me. or maybe i was made for it? either way, friday night was fantastic. our motto of "no drama" worked pretty well, save for the last bit of the party when some people were being complete assholes. they won't be coming back again.

we had a great turnout, but it definitely wasn't as crazy as the trailer trash hullaballo (thank God). met some pretty cool people who i hope to see again later on, and i'm also proud to say that i severely limited my drinking and was coherent the majority of the night.

other thoughts:
walk offs are awesome.
my opinion of townie is getting much better, but there is something seriously off about that guy. time will tell.
guitarhero is an amazing game.
bright blue was the color of the 80s.
my room is the place where people go to have serious conversations.
even if you hate being tickled you still like being on the recieving end of it, solely based on the fact that you get to touch someone and vice versa.
wilson philip's "hold on" has reached a whole new level for me.
my comforter is amazing and i don't care what anyone says.
converse are the best shoes ever. period.




didn't do any work today and i'll be paying for it tomorrow. sigh.