The Happiest Place On Earth (?)

Walt Disney World: home of my best memories and my absolute worst. This trip falls into neither category, but it makes me think of how much I've grown up since I was here a year ago.

I have two relatives that work at Disney and because of that I come here a lot with my family. For one it's tradition and two we're just plain obsessed with it all. The movies, the parks, the mouse-- you name it and we love it. The park is sort of our "vacation spot" if you want to call it that. We get a decent discount with family working here anyway, so why not?

But it's usually at Disney that I get the most mad at my family, something I wish didn't happen but still does. My father will never fail to make that one ignorant comment that sets me off and ruins entire trips for me. I yell at him for it and I play it (and all comments and remarks from past trips) in my mind until I no longer want to be in the presence of family or smiling cartoon characters. This trip's remark centered around the Universe of Energy ride at EPCOT, hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. After the pre-show (which we always enjoy and laugh at) Dad makes the comment "Even though she's a lesbo she still makes me laugh."

What the hell. Honestly.

In retrospect I shouldn't have gotten mad and just let it slide. He was just trying to be funny but Lord did it set me off. For one, it's not funny. At all. Second, it's insensitive and makes him seem ignorant, which he's not (most of the time).

But I still snapped at him and was in a foul mood the rest of the day. I snapped at Mom and then got in a rift with my sister who took it upon herself to give me "a talk" about respecting my elders and being appreciative of everything Mom and Dad do for me. "The talk" was basically us trying to see who could one-up the other with wit and words, but you'd have to ask the people in line for food at Japan to see who one. I like to think I one, mainly because she sounds like she's trying to be a Mom when talking to me and not my sister.

I hate to break it to her, but she's not home anymore. She has no idea how much I love Mom and Dad and how grateful I am for them. And just because Dad is my elder doesn't mean I have to respect him at all times. When he makes comments (which are too numerous to count) that offend me he loses my respect for that moment. And because I'm family I have no qualms about calling him out on issues. God, the stories I could tell you. Just thinking about them all makes me angry and completely unapologetic for this evenings events. If you could see me with my family I am completely true to myself and my ideals, something of which they are all having trouble understanding.

Yet through all of this I love my family. I would die without them and they will always come first in my life. Cheryl kept talking and talking about how one day I will say something I will regret, but fear of punishment will not keep me silent on things I find important. She says to keep my mouth shut and let it slide and that Dad can't be taught new ways.

I agree that he can't be taught how to think differently, but he'll definitely learn not to say anything in front of me. I'm not afriad of making a scene if it'll shut him up and for Cheryl to tell me to do otherwise is asking me to change. Silence equals consent in my mind and there's no one in hell I'm letting people walk through life with the idea that what they say doesn't hurt people.




God, I needed to get that off my chest. That rant has been weighing me down for the past nine hours.