"that boy's head is like sputnik-- spherical but quite pointy at parts!"

i can't believe it.

so i married an axe murderer is on.

i am supremely amused right now.

home life

i was so scared yesterday. i honestly thought that everyone would have left before i could get to say goodbye to them. i wouldn't get to hug my friends and assure them that we would keep in touch. i would arrive at baggage claim and no one would be there save my parents.

i got stopped at hartsfield for two reasons. the first was a freakin' apple that i should have known better to bring back. damn that adorable sniffing dog and surly inspector. the second was the swiss army card that i got for eric. it had a pocket knife in it that they made a big deal about it, but the more i thought about it the more useless the whole thing was. i'm coming back into the states-- you would think they would have caught it before i got on the plane over not after the fact. anyway, that took about 30 min and by then i wanted to start crying. everyone was at baggage claim and i was sure that they had left.

but they hadn't. people were still waiting for their things and i was able to say goodbye to the ones that counted. the only one i didn't get to see was stephanie (and her ma and pa). i'll see her again, but it would have been nice to meet them.

lauren hugged my parents. hell fucking yea. she's definitely part of the family now. ha! i'm so happy she did that.

i miss everyone terribly. it reminds me of leaving school actually. erin, kirsten, anja, david, amy. people i would see everyday were suddenly gone. it's happening all over again and i hate it. it's now lauren, stephanie, kessler, jenny, kenny, josh. i know i'll see the aforementioned again in a month or so. yet some of the people i've spent the last five weeks with i may never see again and if i do it won't be at school. i'll make trips and so will they, but it will never be the same again and for that i am sad.

home is interesting. mom and dad have finally decided to renovate the house. who knew the wedding would push them to make such changes? i would have gotten married at age 15 if i knew it would make them do this. before school starts we're getting new floors in the bathroom and kitchen, new carpeting throughout the house, and we're painting the whole inside. mom's decided she wants the stove moved to the other counter, which will be extended a foot. oh! this means a new counter top and possibly new cabinets. we've decided to make the house very earthy, since there's wood all over the place. this means lots of greens and browns, which is nice.

in short, a lot is getting done and i'm beyond excited. it's going to be very very busy here during the next month. my maid of honor duties officially start tonight (i'm calling catherine about the bridal shower here) and tomorrow i need to run a multitude of errands.

i've talked to nneka, amy, and tom since i've been back. tom wins the award since he called at midnight last night, though i was in a deep coma and didn't answer. i can't wait to start visiting people.

and here i thought i would have nothing to do when i got back.



ps. 2 minutes and 25 seconds into "the naming of things" by andrew bird. close your eyes and listen.

dear italy,

we had some interesting times together. i've travelled all over you and gotten to know your train system like the back of my hand. you've given me sunburn and a full stomach and black feet. you've given me achy knees and awesome pictures and even more amazing friends. the memories i have here will last me the rest of my life. i've thrown up on you and fallen on you. you've given me the most amazing view in the world and i will always deem the orphanage as my spot. you've shown me history and vespas and train strikes and old women with locked arms.

the rolling hills that i see every morning when i wake up will be there forever, while i will not. i will wake up to pine trees and a home in georgia. tuscany will be 5000 miles away, but my mind will drift back often. i will talk about you too much to my friends and they will become annoyed with you and the spell you hold over me. it's more than a crush-- it's love.

when i came here five weeks ago i never went through the honeymoon phase. i knew you were beautiful but i also knew that you had a dark side. among your historic buildings and lush parks there was graffiti and gypsies. beggers with drugged dogs and babies. women bent over with canes and hands out. life was either high paced or slow-- it was hard to find a medium but i managed well. rome, so vast and fast and big city. people travelling around it like it was nothing. it was something to them, but like any person once you've been there long enough it's importance can lose meaning. florence, another favorite, was more calm but equally large. the market was my favorite part and i will always remember sitting in the piazza and watching people walk by. como was gorgeous with it's lake and high hills. you are lucky to have her. siena, with it's calm life and huge square, can only be described as wonderful.

and then there's my home in italy. my montepulciano. the highest hill town in tuscany lived up to it's name and went beyond what i thought it would be. i came here with little or no expectations and i'm leaving with a mind full of the sights and sounds and sensory overload. my spot, the orphanage. the loud long dinners and never empty glasses of wine. endless nights at caffe poliziano and taking night time strolls around the town. the setting sun and the stars at night. i've never seen so many stars in my entire life.

if you think i'm not coming back then you're sorely mistaken. while it may take some time to return rest assured that i will at one point or another and sit at my spot and remember my summer here. thanks for all the good (and less than good) times. while you won't remember me, i will always remember you. thank you.

karen

mwahaha

yesterday i went to siena with lauren and kenny. ran into jarett (which could have been worse, i suppose) and bought some gifts (movie posters in italian!). ate crappy chinese food and then bought cheap good underwear. very exciting. poor boys were waiting outside for us the entire time.

last night we had a farewell dinner, which was quite lovely (mainly the atmosphere, not the food). everyone dressed up and took pictures and drank and had a overall great time. delightful is the word i'm looking for.

afterward we came back to lauren and stephanie's (after a quick stop at the piazza grande for some "free" vino taste testing and i stole a glass and lauren stole a wine opener). by the time everyone came over i realized that this night was going to be too good not to record so i ran back home and grabbed my shit and got back in time to catch matt finishing (more like demolishing) maroon 5. the night then proceeded with tanto singing, molto drinking, story time, kenny peeing, people letting their true feelings known, an italian woman SCREAMING at us, and then everyone going their separate ways while i hid in a dark street for 30 minutes to avoid those who must not be named.

last night was great and i feel it was a great way to end the trip. granted, we'll have tonight to do stuff, but we leave for the airport at 1am. i think tonight will just be hanging out and enjoying the last night here. i'm sad i'm leaving, but not as sad as i thought i would be. give it time though. as soon as someone starts crying i doubt i'll be able to hold it back. hell, it's almost a guarentee that i'll cry.

i need to keep in touch with these people. NEED to.

lauren and stephanie i will see a lot next year, so i'm not upset about them. the people i will miss are those that i have grown accostumed to. kessler, jenny, kenny, greg, eli, josh, kevin, maris, and on and on. God. i don't even want to think about it. kessler and i are going to visit each other all the time and i'll make trips to kennesaw to see the art kids. too many bonds have been formed on this trip and i'm not about to let distance tear them apart. i love these people and i can say that and truly mean it.

okay, i need to finish buying stuff. by the time i post again i'll be back home and it will be one of the saddest and depressing posts in the world.

done!

stick a fork in me, i'm done!

sorry...horrible joke.

anyway, finished finals and my only reaction to them is 'eh' with a shrug of the shoulders. could have done worse, could have done better. one thing that went really well was my essay on british politics. that thing flowed. i'm very proud.

since it's been requested, i'm uploading a picture of myself. this was taken two days ago in the celler of a winery. i had a spiderweb on me.



i've taken almost 600 pictures since i've been here, but with only a handful of days left i doubt i'll take anymore. more than half of those are landscape/cathedral pictures. damn.

tomorrow our apartments are being checked while we're on our field trips--i'll be in florence doing last minute shopping for people who i haven't talked to all summer-- and then friday it's siena and then saturday it's packing. lots and lots of packing.

tonight is another open mic night and you can tell how nervous people are getting. it's not like last time with singing and 'talents.' this one is being hosted by the travel journal class and they'll be reading some of their works, etc. it may not sound like much, but some of these kids poured their hearts into these entries and the fact that they have to read them in front of everyone can be overwhelming. i'm definitely recording it.

tonight is another sangria party with the sports events. everyone is planning on doing molto drinking and i'm hoping to avoid a repeat of Monday Night. wish me luck.

fireworks! ahh!!

last night was so much fun that i had to write about it. the town was holding a festival in the piazza grande in honor of something or another (something about 5 olympic events). there was flag throwing and drums and intricate traditional outfits and dancing and jazz and FIREWORKS.

i. love. fireworks.

i about died. by far the coolest thing that's happened in this town. it went on all night long and towards the end they started giving up free sangria (which reminds me of hunch punch but with wine) and this man and woman got on stage and sang popular american songs from the 80s, the first being "time of your life" from dirty dancing. then songs like "i will survive" and "natural woman" followed, to which we all laughed and danced and had a fantastic wonderful time.

i'd like some venice, with a bit of sunburn on the side

to rehash the talent show: freakin' awesome. there's no words to describe how much fun that was and i'm proud to say that i taped the whole damn thing. it's now my job to edit it and make a cd to send out to everyone, which i am more than happy to do. i think "pompeii: the musical" was my favorite. of course josh and lauren singing "volcano" made my night and "karma police" rocked my face off. josh's music is amazing and i want to hear all his songs. whew. we all ended with "the scientist" and by that time everyone was drunk and having a grand old time. best night at the cafe by far.

anyway...venice!



went to venice this weekend with lauren and stephanie and had a GREAT time. was in a bitchy mood off and on but got over it. san marco sqaure was beautiful, especially at night. they had sting quartets playing all over and we just sat there and listened. fantastic. last night i finally found my canella gelato (cinnamon) but only after i bought a huge tub of some other flavors with lauren at another shop. suffice to say i got my canella while she ate the previously purchased gelato and went crazy off the sugar high and then crashed horribly 20 minutes later. the highlight of the trip was lido beach, an island right off venice. definitely stayed out too long and am now suffering through one of the worst sunburns ever. not tomato red, but it definitely looks like i was spray painted pink. got a ton of more freckles too, so now i need to connect the dots and see if i can make any new shapes.

the night train back was definitely an experience. we didn't have a reservation and just got on (the train was half beds and half regular seats), hoping to get our own cabin and fall asleep. about 30 min into the ride a woman busts through our door and says (in italian) that she has a reservation with 5 other girls. in my sleep-induced haze i kept closing the door on her, but then realized we had to get up and leave. lauren found a cabin with 3 swedish guys in it and we chit chatted for a while. i couldn't sleep and spent the whole night writing in my journal (8 fucking pages). mind you, this is all from midnight to 5 in the am. after getting back into town i crashed and didn't wake up until 10 hours later.

still having trouble buying people stuff. i have no idea what to get my mom. olive oil? yea...maybe. i don't know. i was hoping to find something this weekend but i didn't see anything that caught my eye. i got a pen for cheryl that i know she'll love. it's one of those ghetto ones that you can turn upside down and a little gondola will float from one end to the other. ha. love it. that's in addition to the painting i bought her. i have a feeling i'll be buying her the most stuff because i know she really wishes she could be doing something like this. i feel bad, but i told her i would bring her back here.

this week is the last week and i don't want to think about leaving. i'm glad i didn't sleep on the train last night because i was able to get a really good look at the countryside and the night sky. you wouldn't believe how well you can see the stars out here. it's breathtaking. i've decided that wherever i live in the future i have to be able to see the stars. that means no big city for me-- too much light pollution.

i don't want to go home but then again i do. i'm ready to see my family and friends (which i will be visiting when i get back!), but i'm going to miss this a lot. too much in fact. a return trip is definitely in the cards for me.

so enough talk about leaving. i'm going to enjoy this last week to it's fullest. that means lots of wine, lots of staying up late, and lots of laughing. i think i've laughed more these past few weeks then i have in my entire life. my bladder control has gone down immensely.

the internet cafe guy is reaching the creepy level (he's staring at everyone for far too long), so i'm going to head out and call dad (father's day!).

short note

happy birthday mom!

happy anniversary mom and dad!

first time i'm not there to celebrate with them. weird.

i'll update tomorrow since i'm almost positive i'll have things to say about tonight (talent show! ha.)

market day

bought three paintings at the sunday market here for € 150. i am floored. two are for me and one is a wedding present to my sister (in addition to the wine i'm going to get her). i mailed off the vatican postcards to people that wanted them and i've bought some stuff here and there. most of my purchases are spur of the moment and without any real thought. i see it and i just know that so-and-so will love it. there are some specific gifts that i want to get people, but for the most part it's grab and go.

stephanie and i went to cannes, france this weekend (not egypt, would have been too far) and it was awful. awful awful awful. i don't think i'll let a man touch me for at least a week. within the five hours that we were in the country we were sexually accosted six times. SIX. what the hell. and i swear to God if my ass is grabbed/caressed/spanked one more time i'm going to rip someone's nuts off and shove them down their throat. anyone that knows me knows that i hate being touched by strangers. handshakes and the like are fine, but don't fucking touch me like you know me.

*cough* i'm not bitter. france was my own damn fault because we really didn't account for the amount of time it would take to get there and arriving at the time we did was bad. we should have turned back when we had the chance. it was so nice to come back to montepulciano where i can see actual signs of love between two people instead of lust and the ever-prevalent leer. *shudders* i nearly stabbed one bastard with my pen. i scrubbed my ass cheek raw when i got home and took the best shower of my life.

oh! also walked around for over 24 hours with blood in my hair because while on the bus to the train station i hit my head and cut it open. talk about intersting. not a lot of blood and the cut isn't that big, but wow.

i'd like this time to also point out how i love all the emails i'm getting from people back at home. oh, and i'm saying that with immense sarcasm. i'm finding out that shit's been going down with a lot of people and i'm being left completely out of the loop. i'm not usually like this (or i like to think i'm not), but it's nice to know that when i come home i have some idea of what's been going on in people's lives. it's easy to get sidetracked here and i'm constantly busy (believe it or not), so talking to people back home is hard but i still want to make an effort.

uugh. i have got to stop being bitchy. this weekend was pretty much ruined for me (though i did have an awesome time with stephanie there), but just thinking about it gets me mad. it takes a lot to get me mad but i swear to God i was about to kick someone's ass this weekend. fuckers. we're making t-shirts that say either "vaffaculo france. tu e merda" or "italy rocks, france e merda" or "burn in hell france," with a frenchmen burning in flames. any guy that looks at me i want to punch.

next weekend will be supremely better: venice and possibly switzerland again. i have my presentation on wed and i need to call mom and dad that day too (mom's birthday and their anniversary).

just checked my bank account. the situation is starting to get semi-dire. it's at a level i don't like, but it's not like i can change it. two more weeks left...i think i can survive on what i've got now. that would be amazing if i was able to pull it off.

i've found that since i've been here that i...

-cuss more
-am more open
-will talk about ANYTHING, no matter how disgusting or private
-am more honest and realize that if i hurt people's feelings with it then they should grow a backbone and deal
-appreciate life back home more (specifically: dryers, salads, water pressure, chick-fil-a chicken biscuits, and ice).
-write more in my journal, my most prized possesion
-am having serious issues with religion
-can only fall asleep listening to music
-am having more knee pain, which leads me to think that i need to get another MRI when i get home
-don't really like wine, though i would have to choose white over red
-will always cook my pasta al dente from now on

lots of other stuff has been going on, but nothing too big. i'll update again soon.

note to self: never take ultracet

so i definitely had an adverse reaction to the pain meds that jessica gave me. towards the end of the last post i couldn't type anymore and the screen was all fuzzy. i basically stumbled up to lauren's apartment where i nearly passed out on the bathroom floor after trying to make myself throw up (which didn't happen). but everything is fine now. it just felt like i was very very VERY drunk. not a good experience, to say the least.

so stephanie wants to go to egypt this weekend and i think i'm going to go with her. my gut is telling me to think twice but when is the next time i'll be able to do something like that? never, that's when. we'll see. if a guy went with us i would feel a lot better, because two american girls in egypt kinda scares me a bit. it would be amazing to see the pyramids though. wow. we're also going to try to make another trip to switzerland. i have the money but it's going to get really tight. definitely won't be buying anything for a while.

i think i might have dr.price read my journal. i would love to get some input on it. i've decided i'm going to let cheryl read it and maybe my parents too (though it is littered with cuss words, so we'll see).

switzerland? why yes, that would be lovely

i honestly don't know how i'm going to write a post about this weekend. lake como, zurich, train rides. i don't think i've ever walked so much or laughed so hard or cried so much in my entire life.

speaking of crying, the last post may have been precieved wrong. when i said i couldn't stop crying i meant it in a good way. well...i actually did have one bad cry last week but it's over and done with and compltely forgot. i still miss people though, especially my parents. they would have loved the alps.

oh god. the alps. absolutely breaktaking. i only saw them from the train, but it was a 4 hour ride so i got more than i could handle. very much a sensory overload. i wanted to scream i was so happy, but common courtesy said not to.

i wish that when i wrote in my journal everything automatically went to this blog. i wrote about 10 pages this weekend alone. my journal is very intimate and important to me, but i would still like some people to read it. it's amazing to see the change in how i wrote at the beginning of the trip and how i write now. i write more on what i'm feeling and seeing then what happened during my day. it's more of a journal based on emotion than anything else.

some random thoughts right now (on italy or other thing):

couples in europe have no shame in public displays of affection, which i find very endearing.

i want to learn how to ride a motorcycle.

i need to go back to zurich.

my knee is hurting more and more everyday.




wow...okay, i can't concentrate anymore. shit...that medicine that jessica gave me for my knee is hitting me way too hard. it's making me feel very loopy and everything is getting loopy and my hands are shaking.

on palatine hill

things going on (right now at this very moment):

i had my moment.

the trigger was my teacher's family.

i take back what i said about missing people.

i can't stop crying.

i don't want to think about going back home.

my knee is hurting more and more everyday.

i can't stop listening to "the professor" by damein rice.