for anyone that likes subway

amy, an employee at Subway (THE multinational restaurant franchise that sells sandwiches and salads) has bestowed to me information she deems essential for every customer to know. take heed, subway lovers! abide by these rules if you don't want your sub spit in when you're trying to decide between baked lays and doritos.


--DON'T get "everything" on your sandwich, particularly if you're going to say "Oh-- I meant everything but pickles" right after I pile on the pickles.
--DON'T order anything I find gross-- this includes but is not limited to the veggie patties, the meatballs, and the disgusting looking "seafood blend."
--DON'T get a footlong because they take longer to make.
--DON'T get one of the messy breads because I just wiped the damn counter down.
--DON'T order more than one sandwich.
--DON'T ask me what shit is.
--DON'T ask me how much shit costs. Actually, don't order anything at all. Or if you must, just order a medium drink or something."