independence (day)

independent (n) : free from the influence, guidance, or control of another or others; self-reliant: an independent mind.

if one more person makes the crack that i couldn't find a church in italy i will scream. this all started the first week i was there and mom asked if i had gone to church. i said "no, i couldn't find a church" MEANING that i didn't have mass times and didn't go. after the first week i realized that i didn't want to go at all, so i didn't.

but of course she has to tell someone else, and then it spreads like fire throughout this family. people apparently think it's funny to remind me that i didn't go to church while i was there. "you couldn't find a church in italy? hahaha. isn't the whole country catholic? ohh, karen."

ohh you. go fuck yourself.

this comment keeps being thrown back at me everyday, about three times a day. i'm thisclose to killing someone or storming out and stealing the car. kevin and ryan could care less, but it's the adults that are getting to me, especially mom. i love the woman to death, but i'm about to blow up at her and say that i hate church and never want to go again.

i take that back. i don't hate church, i just think it's unncessary for me at the present time. i believe what i believe and i don't need a congregation or music or Bible readings to tell me anything different. i've been like this since last summer. if i want to go i'll go.

i'm waiting for mom and dad to give me a talk, especially after yesterdays church. kevin, ryan, and i came in late and dad gave me (what i would deem) a very stern look and mom 'joked' that i would have to stay for the next one to make up for my tardiness.

she hoped that italy would rub off on me and i'd come back more...catholic, i guess. instead i came back even less devoted than before. ha.


happy fourth of july. tonight will consist of a huge cookout (25+ people), fireworks, drinking, and an all-around great time with the family. i love coming here.