The Hardest I've Ever Laughed, or "Mark! Why Did You Eat All The Eggs?!"

Destination: Murphy, NC
Approximate Travel Time: 2.5 Hours
Should Everyone Go To Murphy? Yes


So today was the journey to Murphy, North Carolina. Lauren's Great-Great-Grandmother (Granny) has lived there all her 85 year life and we made a trip together to see her and the amazingness that is this small town. After hearing Lauren talk about her family and different places around the area I knew I had to make a trip one day, and dammit today was the day to do it!

Talk about fucking amazing. I don't think I've had that much fun in a long time. I've definitely never laughed that hard in a while to be sure, so that's a good thing.

Where to start? For one, Granny's place wasn't how I pictured it, but then again it never is. My own Grandmother is 88, and here is this 85 year old woman who is a
Great-Great Grandmother.

A little bit about GRANNY:
Remembers everything.
Loves sports and ESPN.
Is quiet (because she can't hear anything).
Dislikes Chinese food because she thinks it's really made from cats and dogs.
Is the head of the family, with four generations under her (had first child at 15).
Puts everything in the fridge, from magazines to dog food.
Has a house that decorated in family portraits, angel figurines, and the color blue.

I absolutely love Granny, but out of the entire trip I have to say I enjoyed Field of the Woods the most, which is home to the World's Largest Ten Commandments, which is also viewable from space.

Words can not describe how much I enjoyed Fields of the Wood. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to die. Lauren warned me plenty and with Granny in the car we couldn't really laugh.

At least not until we got out of the car.



I have not laughed that hard in a very very long time. As soon as the car stopped I just walked until I felt I was far enough and just died for five straight minutes. Clutching-stomach-mascara-running-down-red-face laughing. The enorminty of the Ten Commandments, the sight of the tomb Jesus was buried in, and the overall extravagant splendor of Field of the Wood was nearly too much for me to handle. A Christian Amusement park in the middle of nowhere? Sign me up.The heavens were shining down upon the Ten Commandments, families were frolicking amongst the lamb statues glued to the side of the hill, and bikers of all shapes and sizes were roaming the Wood.

In all honestly this place is truely a sight to behold, but I didn't see/feel God anywhere. Lauren said that I need to come back for a lunar eclipse and go on top of the Bible Overlook to see the Milky Way, since there's no lights (or light pollution from the town) at all. In my opinion if God is ever going to show up at Field of the Woods it will be then, for people to enjoy nature at it's most raw and real, not with stone slapped onto the side of a mountain.

The rest of the trip was filled with family bonding, flea market trips, walking around downtown Murphy, looking at old kitcheny things for L's place in Stuff-tiques, and celebrating Granny's 85th birthday with Chinese food and coconut cake.

The drive up and back were absolutely breathtaking and I can't wait to make the trip again when the leaves change in Fall. I've had an itch to see the mountains for a while and a drive through the Smokies was much appreciated. Absolutely beautiful.

Of course it helps when your partner in crime loves listening to Of Montreal and dancing like a banshee when she's supposed to be driving instead.

Now time for RANDOMNESS:
Seeing Uncle Brian's model shots displayed proudly in Granny's home and nearly choking on my Subway.
Stuffed Christmas bears strategically placed on the bedspread.
Downtown Murphy.
Learning Granny's life in Murphy in a 30 minute car ride.
Rib Country!
Provoking motorcyclists with winks and kisses.
Hands that resemble Dr. Suess characters. Where was the tape when you needed it?!
Meeting Uncle Mona (who is actually a woman with the tendancy to say random things).
Realizing that all families have their quirks (good, bad, and ugly).




Ranking Of Today: 10