has it really been a week?

so i'm in italy and it hasn't sunk in yet. it's a combination of things really, each too complex to explain or for me to even understand. it'll hit me on the plane ride back, i'm sure, but i want it to hit me now. everyone is having their moments when it just HITS THEM and i haven't.

i want my moment. i thought i did. i almost did. but then i realized that i didn't and i want it.

the town is in one word, amazing. i can't get over how beautiful it is here. if only everyone could wake up the the view i do. i feel a lot people would be happier for it.

in the first email i sent out i wrote "i miss you all and think of you often." i realized later that was a lie. i do think of people from back home often, but i don't miss them. i really don't. hell, i barely miss my parents (i've only talked to mom once, and that was to say i got in okay). once again this lack of missing people has made me realized that my growing independence is reaching magnificant proportions. i'm going to pisa tomorrow on a day trip. i'm most likely going to have to travel from roma to napoli by myself in a couple of weeks. all this travelling and just depending on yourself puts everything into perspective. there's not much to do on a train but think and read, read and think. i've been doing a lot of thinking and i've decided that no, i don't miss anyone back home. i do think of people often (especially when i see something that reminds me of him or her), but that's as far as it goes. that's as far as i want or need it to go.

you know in the first season of real world it was all "who's going to kiss who?" and now it's "who's going to fuck on the first night"? well, welcome to real world montepulciano, complete with hook ups and the international walk of shame. i'm happy to say that this isn't about me at all, but about others in the program. granted, i don't know the whole story or what exactly went on with who, but come on people, what ever happened to good ole fashioned sexual tension? if you're going to fool around with someone wait a week or something, don't go at it the first freakin night. i love sexual tension, but some people are too impatient.

everyone is emailing me back saying "i'm so jealous you're in italy, blah blah blah. talk to you later" and while that's nice, it's not what i want. i really do want to know what's going on with people's summers. i don't know what i want really, but it's not six emails saying "find a hot italian boy for me."

tuesday i go to rome (already been there twice) and then thursday it's florence. i'm most excited about the latter because i get to see the replica of the david (which will have to tie me over until i see the real thing). i'm going to have to go back to rome one day to go to the bourgese gallery, since that field trip turned into a bust. everything here is so overwhelming and beautiful that it feels like it's choking me, but in a good way. i don't know how to describe it. i know i could never describe what i see-- i could never do it justice-- so i'll just have to describe how i feel instead.

lauren is helping me with my journal, which i'm happy about. i may even have dr. price look at some stuff. i want to look back on it in 20 years and have it mean something to me, instead of just a book with words and events that are unneccesary.

okay, it's time to head out. i'll probably update in a week or so.

-karen

ps.- i had to change the time of the entry so it's local time here. i'm about to eat dinner and everyone else back home is either getting off their lunch break or sitting at home doing nothing. 6 hours. wow.