Life Goal #26: Slap a Bitch

I swear to God NPR is gold. Anything that can give me the best news and A Prairie Home Companion on a weekly basis deserves a mention here and there. Some benefits of listening to NPR are as simple as knowing you are educating yourself on major domestic and world issues to realizing that you're smarter than that guy picking his nose in the car next to you.

Speaking of, I'm still looking for a car but the goal is closer in site. I can almost taste the upholstery. I say "taste" because smelling just won't cut it for me. I've been wanting this since I was 12 and dammit if I'm not within a week's time of fulfilling life goal #36.

In case you're wondering I recently made a list of life goals, some of which I have already completed. Skydiving is done, as well as travel throughout Italy. A couple of others:

#18 Meet Desmond Tutu
#5 Drive across country and have specific music genres correlating with specific regions of the country
#22 Have Christmas lights all over my house like Clark Griswold
#26 Slap a bitch
#3 Make naan in a tandoori oven (in India)
#11 See a live taping of Prairie Home Companion
#1 Protest, and get arrested for it

Some of these are going to require extensive travel, obviously. This is why they are life goals. I don't mind being a wrinkly old white lady throwing dough into a burning hot oven with my osteoporosis-riddled hands. Of course, I rather be young and in better health before I go to India. Lord knows what the food would do to the digestive system of an 86 year old.

Funny/Sad Things My Kids Have Said:
"What are fajitas?"
"Does this make me look skinny?"
"Wait...where's New England? Is that a state?"
"Federalism! It's like a taco! Or a cupcake!"