How Could I Forget?

Today I picked up my music player, shoved the buds in my ears, and chilled the fuck out.

I haven't touched my music player since I was on the plane over here. I've been listening to music, mind you, but always off my laptop. But my player...God, I had completely forgotten about it. How could I have been so careless?

I forgot how much I love music surrounding me, enveloping me like a fire. The soundtrack to my life is playing in my head as I walk through the city and I haven't felt this happy in a long time. The same music I played last night in my small room is completely different in this big open space of a city. To say that my spirits were lifted is ridiculous and cliche, but oh so true. I've been walking around the city for the past five hours, just listening. Listening to songs long forgotten and replaced, songs no longer on my notebook but still in my heart. Songs where you know the music by heart and can sing every word perfectly, even though you can't sing worth a damn. And you wonder why the hell did you delete this song in the first place?

Music pulls me back and forth so much. Certain songs are associated with certain memories, just as a particular smell will always remind you of an event, person, thing. Like the smell of that Fruit Stripe gum that came in the zebra wrappers that we ate as kids will always remind me of Girl Scout camp and pranks on other cabins. Like Damien Rice will always remind of me Mary Lyndon Hall and the orphanage in Italy feeling the wind and sunsets. Sufjan Stevens will always remind me of freedom and Joni Mitchell's "A Case of You" will remind me of riding in Lauren's car at dusk to her place, past the hospital on Prince Avenue and her saying "This song reminds me of Ben."

I have no idea what songs will remind me of Germany, but I have the next month to figure it out.